Is it possible that after a few bad experiences with local women, you are now considering the possibility of taking an overseas bride? Maybe you have a taste for adventure or are intrigued by what is unfamiliar. Whatever the reason, below are some answers to questions you may have.

1. Are overseas brides only for losers who can’t find partners in their own countries?

Of course not. It is an unfortunate truth that overseas brides sometimes attract the sorts of men that nobody back home wants, but they represent only a fraction of the men who choose overseas brides. Don’t forget that a couple of decades ago people considered “computer dating” to be a way for nerds to find dates – but today it has become a popular and accepted way to find a partner.

2. Are mail order brides all money hungry green card hounds?

Mostly not. Be careful of course – it IS a jungle out there. Just as loser men seek “mail order brides”, so do scamstresses see Western men as walking green cards (with luck they’ll all end up married to the losers). You should at least consider the services on an international matchmaking agency rather than going it alone on the free Internet sites, because if they’re reputable, then part of their fees go towards weeding out the scammers.

3. What do these women want, anyway?

The good ones want the same thing local women want -home, family, children, and love. As for the bad ones – well, need I even go into it? The point is that there are good ones out there.

4. Why are these women looking abroad for men?

A lot of reasons:

(i) They may be facing a life of poverty at home.

(ii) Their culture may relegate women to a low social status – after all, in some cultures a wife is considered little more than a maid / nanny / baby factory.

(iii) “Western guys look like movie stars” – I’m serious. Asia is the only part of the world where I get told I look like Mel Gibson. Well, we’re both white, but I’m fairly certain that’s about where the resemblance ends. But thanks anyway, Hollywood! .

(iv) It’s cold at home! If you were a Russian woman, wouldn’t you have to seriously consider a proposal from a man who lived in Orlando?

Modern as we are today, especially in the western countries, there are not much to be found of what we call long-term relationships or long-term commitment. With the modern lifestyle, men and women are already focused on their careers and other things rather than raising a family. They prefer the “no stings attached” relationships, but the pleasure it gives them is only temporary or superficial. But that’s the way some choose it to be. However, there are still men who seek stable, long-term, married life; enjoying their wife and children.

These men make the mail order bride work. They often are looking for women from other countries that share the same feelings as they are. Popular to western men are women or brides from Europe, particularly from Russia, Belarus, Ukraine and Georgia. Mail order bride has become a phenomenon. Success stories here and there; from agencies as well as from the actual people who had benefited from the services. However, before you are overwhelmed with these stories, a word of caution – investigate first before choosing. There are fakes as well as scams around. So, it is important to confirm the authenticity of information before you engage into a transaction.

Investigate and confirm. Do your own research, use our instincts and observe for signs of fraud. Sometimes, these scammers sense that you are desperate in your search and they would take advantage of this weakness. This is where they can start on you. So, be aware and be observant. There are a lot of ways to be scammed, like some girls just want to extort money from you, others would just use you as a vehicle to migrate or move to you country and many more. Here are some signs and also steps how to overcome or confirm authenticity of the information you are getting.

1.      A picture was sent to you from a match. A scammer will send a picture of somebody else and not her. To counter this, you may request to chat using web cam. This would confirm if the picture and the one communicating to you is the same. Also, observe her responses when you request to communicate thru web cam.

2.      Another situation that you should note for is during a conversation after a while of communication with each other. She will express love and say many lovely things to you. However, you have to be very observant and vigilant when you discuss about money and visa. Feel if she is authentic or just using you.

3.      After several days or months of communication, scammers will storm you of fake stories like how she become broke, that her family cannot afford the basic necessities of living or even her family is urging her to marry a rich man to uplift their living conditions and other depressing stories. What’s the reason behind all these stories? She wants to get your sympathy and eventually gets you to send her financial support. Naturally, if you are already in an ongoing long distance relationship with her, you will be obliged or urged to do so, however, you need to really discern if she is telling the truth. Of course, all of us wants to help a person in need, however, do not be scammed. You want to show sincere feelings by helping, ensure also that she is really in need and sincere of her feelings to you.

4.      Further, if you are already sending her financial support, notice if her needs increase every time you discuss about it. Some more depressing stories are brought up. Again, if you feel that the burden of providing for her family and more are on your shoulders, think again. She should be the only responsibility to you, at least now.

 If these stories are untrue, then maybe she is using your money somewhere else. Be aware of how she uses the money you send her. Look for signs of somehow letting you know where she used it, maybe showing bills or pictures or other proofs. Straight women know the meaning of liquidation however informal it is. They know that they are handling somebody else’s money.

While it is true that today it is easy to meet somebody you choose to become your wife thru the Internet, it is also very true that these because it is virtual in nature it is not free from scams and frauds. These are just some hints to prevent you from being victimized. Prevention is better than cure. Ignorance excuses no one. You are old enough to know what you are doing and you are responsible for your actions.

Though Russian and Ukrainian women are on the top list as the most preferred mail order brides, not all of them are fraud. You can still find that loving, elegant yet family oriented Russian bride.

Why are so many American men seeking brides from abroad when there are so many single women at home? There are several reasons:

(1) Nobody at home wants to marry them (in some cases)

Unfortunately, the popular image of the alcoholic, abusive loser who takes a foreign bride because no local woman will marry him is sometimes accurate. It would certainly be painting with too broad a brush to say that all American men who seek international brides are like this, the abusive personality does seem to be well represented among men seeking bride from overseas. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it – the foreign bride often knows very little about her husband when she comes over. By the time she discovers who he really is, she is far from home, economically dependent, unable to afford to go back home, and sometimes pregnant. Abusers sometimes take full advantage of this situation by forcing their brides to submit to treatment that few American women would put up with.

(2) Citizenship in a prosperous Western nation greatly increases their position in the marriage market. The hope of a new life in rich America (or some other Western country) is certainly the top reason why women from third world countries wish to marry Western men (if you don’t think so, ask yourself how many of these women pursue men from Peru or Indonesia). Since the number of women is far greater than the number of Western men looking for them, supply and demand favors the Western man. It thus becomes no problem at all for a man in his 50s to marry a 20-year-old Chinese model, for example.

(3) A lot of American men don’t like American women. One could say that opposite attract, but complaints abound among a certain segment of American men that feminism has gone too far, that it no longer has anything to do with equal rights or fairness, and that it has morphed US women into a third gender – neither masculine nor feminine, confused about their gender identity, and forever competing rather than cooperating to prove that “women can do anything men can do”. This silent war between the sexes creates a competitive atmosphere, some say, that destroys any chance for true intimacy between spouses. Because of this, American men turn to foreign countries to find a bride (and American women increasingly look overseas for husbands!).

Columbian brides

This article is the second of two articles on different types of mail order brides. In Part One I discussed the Queen of Diamonds and the Green Card Mama; now we take a look at two of the better kinds.

3. The Traditional Wife

This type makes a stable spouse and a great mother. She is usually from a conservative background, often rural or working class. She is not usually highly educated. A Traditional Wife has dreamed of marriage and children as long as she can remember. She will gladly clean, cook, raise your children, and “do her wifely duty”. Many men find this type to be satisfactory, even ideal.

A word of warning to the romantically inclined – may find this type to be less than ideal, to put it mildly. Although a Traditional Wife places great emphasis on the institution of marriage, it is the role of wife and mother along with its social status that she wants, not romantic love. Indeed, many Traditional Wives want to get married “to have kids”. Period. After a while you may end up wondering if she would be happy if you moved alone to Fiji and mailed her a sperm sample and a paycheck each month.

4. The Hopeless Romantic

This one is the all-time favorite, the woman that everybody seems to be looking for. Take her to see “The Titanic”; she’ll cry. If you want a wife who is ruled by her heart, this is the type for you.

The Hopeless Romantic type comes in two sub-varieties: the Angel; and the Infatuation Junkie. Infatuation Junkies are usually very young. What you are likely to get is a sexy, passionate ball of fire, but be careful – such marriages tend to be exciting but unstable. If you can get through the tumult of the marriage’s early years, however, she might just mature into a wife who values romantic love yet is able to tell the difference between real love and raging harmones – an Angel, in other words. If that happens, thank your lucky stars because you are luckier than most.

Disclaimer: This article contains general observations about US visa applications for of overseas brides, and is not intended to be taken as legal advice. Be aware as well that US immigration law changes quite frequently. Seek the advice of an immigration attorney before applying for a US visa process on behalf of an overseas bride.

Please don’t kill the messenger, but I have some bad news – the term “mail order bride” is not meant to be taken literally – she cannot actually be mailed to you J. Once you find an overseas bride, you will need to help her get a US visa. As your wife she will be eligible for a green card and eventual US citizenship. In many cases an international matchmaking agency can assist you in the US visa process. If it can’t, then should see an immigration attorney. There are two primary methods for your overseas bride to enter the US (not including a rubber dinghy over the Rio Grande) – on a Fiancee Visa (K-1 visa) if you plan to marry in the US, or on a US immigration visa if you plan to marry abroad.

A K-1 fiancée visa takes at least six months in the pipeline (and be sure not to listen to the scammers who may try to tell you of a supposed “K-9 visa” for extremely unattractive brides). Once she enters the US, you will have to either marry her or take her back out of the USA within a specified period (usually 90 days). After you marry her you will have to apply for permanent residence on her behalf.

Alternatively, you could marry her in her country, in which case she would need an immigration visa to enter the US. This takes longer, but is thought to be easier to get.

For further details, please visit the webs site of a US Embassy or consulate in your bride’s home country, or talk to an immigration attorney.